I don't agree with some of what the author says, but I also don't think that the relationship described is an especially good one. Really, referring to one of your partners as an old shoe on national tv? Not a smart move, and actually pretty disrespectful to the partner in question. Say it's a comfortable relationship, yes, say that you might not have the passion of a new relationship because, well, you can't stay at the ripping-clothes-off stage forever. Don't describe it as an old shoe! Anyway, mini-shoe-rant over.
What I took a real issue with is the 2nd to last sentence.
Unlike the fundamentalist religious Browns [a Mormon family with multiple wives], these people don't see their lifestyle as God's wish, making them less likely to stick with it, I suspect.
For a moment, let's ignore the fact that I am religious and do see my relationships as a blessing...maybe not God's wish for all humanity, but God's wish for me.
That aside.
WTF? This seems to be saying that relationships are more likely to fail if the people participating in them do not have the determination to succeed, only given by the certainty that it's what God wants. I'm exaggerating the point here, the author does say a bit about how hard polyamory must be with social normal and cultural constraints. A valid point.
Except that gay and lesbian relationships faced the same cultural constraints. And mixed-race. And relationships across the class divide. Miraculously, without being members of fundamental religious groups, these couples survived, thrived, and are now common sights in our society.
Polyamory has its issues and these are made easier to bear by believing that this is how your life should be, but belief in God and God's wishes on the matter is not necessary for the success of the lifestyle. If you are just non-monogomous down to your bones, in your genes and in your heart, why is that belief somehow inferior to the belief that God wants you to be poly? Does this mean that a heteronormative, monogomous, atheist couple are destined to fail because they can't have that certainty of God's hand in their lives?
Are the only successful relationships in this world relationships formed and maintained with the participant's certainty of God's desires?
I find this very hard to believe.
Going back to the fact that I am a Christian. Yes, I have a cast-iron certainty that this is the way God made me, that I am supposed to love as is natural for me, and yes, despite how cringingly evangelical this sounds, I believe that Minx and Hermit were placed in my life for a reason. BUT. That doesn't mean that my resolve to make this triad work is based solely on my faith! It doesn't make my determination any stronger than the most committed poly atheist, or Pagan, or Buddhist. It just gives me a slightly different focus for my life.
When poly relationships fail, it's not because the members weren't determined enough. Ok, so maybe sometimes it is. I'm going to let you into a secret - they fail for the same reasons that monogomous relationships fail. Sure, the whole defying-society thing adds pressure. Poly people end relationships because they fall out of love, they don't get on anymore, they can't stand each other's parents, they don't see each other enough, work gets in the way, one has to move countries, it just isn't working. Here's another secret. They rarely fail because of infidelity, emotional, sexual, or otherwise.
I am in a very happy and healthy triad. I don't believe we're more/less likely to succeed than other triads because of the fact that we're all liberal Christians. Our faith helps to bind us together and gives us strength, but that doesn't make atheist triads less connected. Other people find different common ground, and gain strength from other things. We will succeed because we love each other, and because we believe we are doing the right thing for all people involved. If we don't succeed, it won't be because there are three of us.
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