Letters That I Might Send?

I think about my first boyfriend (and second, but this is a post about the first) pretty regularly. I have no idea if this is normal or not and, frankly, I don't really care. There's no regret that the relationship ended, merely regret at how I handled the break-up. As you may have gathered from my post back in February, I remember him with much fondness and really do wonder how he's doing. I hope he's well, and happy. I wonder who he is now. I'm certainly a different person. We started our relationship when we were still in high school - I was 15...and convinced I wanted to go into fashion, or art or something and that I wanted a huuuge family and to live in Scotland as soon as I could. I don't think I'd recognise myself now! I'm an academic, with no interest in children of my own and living in the US of all places. Oh, and Minx and Hermit would probably come as a surprise. I'd think he has changed equally in five years since we parted.

I was talking to Minx last night and saying that I still miss him. He was my best friend in the world :) and she said that I should tell him. This was pretty surprising to me because I'd always assumed that I'd never talk to him again, even though I wanted to. Her comment has opened up that possibility and I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I want to, I really do. But it's a very selfish thing to do and I have no idea how he'd feel about it. Would it upset him? Is it something he'd really rather I'd not do, and should I just leave him to get on with his life? Do I want to do it because I feel guilty about how things ended and want to make myself feel better, or for curiosity's sake and because I loved him once. I really don't know. It's definitely something to think about. It does help that my Mum saw him at the cinema a couple of months ago and she said he seemed really pleased to see her, and they chatted for a while...so clearly he doesn't hate my family at least :)