It hit me last week, quite suddenly. I am going to be leaving my job in just over two weeks. I'll be leaving the boys, and this house, and embarking on an entirely new adventure. Actually, I'll be leaving the boys in only a week because they're going on vacation and I'm on cat-sitting-duty again. I don't quite know how I feel about this. Despite my initial problems with the boys I have grown really very fond of them. The Baby is...well, MY Baby. He's grown so much in the past few months. He's walking, his talking is improving day by day and he knows ME. He is happy to see me on Mondays and we spend an awful lot of the week laughing and having fun together. He also said my name for the first time on Monday, which made me feel fuzzy :) The Toddler is a delight as well...affectionate and smiling and nowhere near as grumpy as he was when I started. And in just over a week, I won't see them. I'll visit in August, but that'll be it for a year or more. I'm not entirely sure how to explain to the Toddle that I won't be able to come to his 4th birthday party...which he reliably informs me will be a Batman party. I've tried telling him that I'll be far away, but he said I can just come to England for the night and then go home again. It's very sweet, really.
I will miss them. But at the same time, I am so excited about what comes next! The house is almost ready for us to move into, I'm feeling good about my PhD and I get to go home for a couple of weeks too. I've been feeling pretty homesick recently and a couple of weeks in rainy England will be just what I need. Everything is going to change again though. It will be good change, but it is more change nonetheless.
I'm also somewhat apprehensive about going home. I'm very excited about it, but things are strained between my Mum and one of my sisters. The sister is...not happy, to say the least, and is taking a lot of that unhappiness out on my mum. Unfairly, might I add. She won't admit she's not happy either which makes the whole thing ten times worse because she won't see how cruel she's being, because that would be an admission. Apart from anything else, she needs some home truths and someone is going to tell her soon...which will make things either significantly better or significantly worse, and no-one quite knows which way it's going to go. I'll go into more detail on that at a later date.
So for now, I am enjoying the time I have left with the boys and trying to remind myself of as much Akkadian as possible before classes start in August and I start feeling like I'm totally faking my intelligence again :/
I’m proud of you for telling your parents the truth about your lifestyle. It’s not easy to do when most people disagree with what you do and judge you. People have a tendency to fear what they don't understand.
ReplyDeleteI commented on the polytical website for your God is Love article, but the comment is awaiting moderation and not yet posted, so I thought I'd write you at your blog website. I've added some extra thoughts for further clarification.
I preface this by saying that I’m not trying to attack you, so please don’t get offended. I believe that you truly are a Christian and will go to heaven, but I believe that you should reconsider the present way you are living.
Now, I know that sounds like a lot since your whole identity is wrapped up in your lifestyle. But, remember, that's how it is for all humans. However, as Christians, we've got God to lead us through. God has only grace and mercy for you. So, you are correct to know that God is love. Many Christians are WRONG when they condemn Christians who may live lifestyles outside of the Christian norm. The truth is you have Jesus Christ on the inside of you and so you are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus. You are righteous irregardless of what you do right or what you do wrong. Not only that there is NO condemnation for you, who are in Christ Jesus.
Since you have made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior, you do know that making Jesus Lord means doing what Jesus wants you to do? Is that your belief? If it is, then it behooves you to ask God to reveal to you if this relationship you have with these two married people is really his plan for you. You acknowledge that God is Love. That’s good. So, if you really love God, would you leave this married couple if God asked you to? Would you not pursue relationships with other committed couples if God asked you to? Keep in mind that if God asks you to give up this relationship, He’s got something much better for you. However, if you make the decision to stop being polyamorous, life will immediately get hard for you because you will begin the process of shedding your flesh. The life you’ve made for yourself is comfortable for you, but it causes you to not really get to know God as well as you could. You’ve become dependent on a relationship that seems to meet all of your needs, but in the process it is stripping you of fulfilling the purpose that God has placed on the inside of you. You don’t have to take my word for it, but I highly suggest you take God’s word for it. Ask Him to clearly show you His plan for you.
Love is NOT AN EMOTION. It is will or choice. For you, it may mean CHOOSING to break up with this married couple and to wait on the Lord to provide for you the ONE mate you will marry first, then have sex with and be committed to. It may take years before God does this for you, but it depends on how quickly you learn everything God wants to teach you, like patience and self-control and other spiritual ways, Galatians 5:22-25. Since Jesus is your Lord & Savior, then you have the Holy Spirit in you. Once you’ve got Jesus and you’re filled with the Holy Spirit, then you can embark on the Spirit Led Life. Listen to these mp3s which teach you the intricacies of being led by the Holy Spirit: http://www.moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/SpiritLedLife.xml and http://www.moorelife.org/listseries.php?xml=rss/SpiritLedLife2.xml.
Since you believed in Jesus Christ, did you get baptized in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues? If not, you should go to a church with anointed ministers who will help you to be baptized in the Spirit. Once you’re baptized in the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues, you have access to dunamis power. Watch these three sermons for more information: http://www.itbn.org/index/detail/ec/NwNzQ3NTrQCKfKZHynR_AI57D5CNhsqH, http://www.itbn.org/index/detail/lib/Networks/sublib/TBN/ec/VnbzhiNTpgYDoQlTw4jjp3UdMYp-nqcV, and http://www.itbn.org/index/detail/lib/Networks/sublib/TBN/ec/RicDhiNTrmWs1M10OcLMeUsir8TUGNiT.
Thank you for your comment. I'm not going to address everything you say, just what I feel to be the main points.
ReplyDeleteFirstly...you and I are never going to agree on this subject. I can tell that just by looking at your recent Twitter conversation with another polyamorous person. But, you have been respectful of my lifestyle so the least I can do is try to give you a decent reply.
I have never spoken in tongues, neither has anyone from my home church, my college church, or, as far as I know, any church I have ever attended regularly. As an Anglican, this would be highly irregular and is not something that we are told to expect upon our baptism. Apart from anything else, I was baptised before I could even speak English. I also do not feel that any evidence is required to prove that one has been baptised. I have been accepted into the Church and I have accepted God into my life. Everything else about our relationship is between She and I.
I do wonder exactly why you seem to think that my relationships strip me of fulfilling the purpose that God has given me, whilst a single, monogamous relationship would not. I find it to be quite to the contrary. I have never felt more comfortable with, or closer to, my God. I don't know what Her path is for me, but then, I never have. I am certain that Minx, Hermit and I were put together for a reason...if nothing else than to enrich each other's lives and live in a loving way. I asked God about this a LOT, don't you worry about that. The answer I always got was to keep going. She is happy with where I am, and that's enough for me. Doubtless many would say that I am lying to myself, or that the Devil gave me these thoughts. Thankfully for me, I do not believe in the Devil and I have lied to myself enough in the past to know what it looks and feels like.
To get belatedly to one of your first questions...I don't know. I think that leaving them if God wished it would be the correct thing to do, but I do know that I would find it difficult and devastating. I also know that my God is not a cruel God, and if She wants me to leave there would be a damn good reason for making me.
I'm responding to your comment in two separate parts because in the second part of my response I give an example of what I stated in the first part of my response.
ReplyDeleteHere is the first part of response. Everything I've written to you has to do with what is found in the word of God, the Bible. God has told us as Christians to NOT be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2). This is one of my favorite verses because God leaves it to us to prove His will for our lives by telling us to change our way of thinking. God doesn't want us thinking like the world, instead He wants us to think as He thinks. The only way we can think like God thinks is by hearing the Word of God, reading the Word of God, studying the Word of God, meditating on the Word of God, and memorizing the Word of God; these five steps will cause any Christian to know and understand the Word of God. No Christian will ever be able to truly DO what God wants him/her to do unless he/she first hears, reads, studies, meditates on, and memorizes the Word of God.
The urgency with which any Christian hears, reads, studies, meditates on, and memorizes the Word of God is how quickly he/she will be able to do what God wants. Mark 4:24 reads, Then he added, "Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given--and you will receive even more."
This ought to be a daily activity. Why do I say Christians need to do these things daily? In Matthew 4:4, Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" How often do you eat bread or food? Well, that's how often we ought to hear, read, study, meditate on, and memorize the word of God. In fact, God speaks to us the loudest by way of the Word of God. So, how will we ever know what God wants us to do if we do not hear, read, study, meditate on, and memorize the word of God?
My job is NOT to try to change you. I can't make you do anything. I can give you the word of God surrounding any topic. This word that I have written to you is really good news, although you may not understand it as such yet. It is really up to you to prove the will of God for your own life. You must delve more into the word of God in order to know and to understand what God would like for you to do in your life, even with respect to speaking in tongues and monagamy.
Here is the second part of my response. Let me illustrate how knowing and understanding the Word of God can change an action in your life. You have told me that neither you, nor anyone from your home church, nor anyone from your college church, nor anyone from any church you've ever attend regularly has ever spoken in tongues. Well, speaking in tongues is found in the Bible. I didn't just make it up. Just because neither you, nor anyone else you've ever attended church with has ever spoken in tongues, does not mean that it is not God's will that you and these other individuals do it.
ReplyDeleteIn Acts 19:1 we read, "While Apollos was in Corinth, Paul traveled through the interior regions until he reached Ephesus, on the coast, WHERE HE FOUND SEVERAL BELIEVERS." Notice the similarity of this verse to what you and I are both NOW experiencing. I traveled on the internet, WHERE I FOUND YOU A BELIEVER.
In Acts 19:2 we read, "DID YOU RECEIVE THE HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU BELIEVED?" he asked them. "No," they replied, "we haven't even heard that there is a Holy Spirit." Once again, we can compare this similarity to what you and I have experienced. In my first post I asked you, "SINCE YOU BELIEVED IN JESUS CHRIST, DID YOU GET BAPTIZED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT with the evidence of speaking in tongues?" You replied, "I have NEVER spoken in tongues...this would be highly irregular and is NOT something that we are told to expect upon our baptism...I also do NOT feel that any evidence is required to prove that one has been baptised."
Keep in mind that RECEIVING the Holy Spirit is the same as GETTING BAPTIZED in the Holy Spirit. How do I know this? Read Acts 19:3, "Then what baptism did you experience?" he asked. And they replied, "The baptism of John." Paul is asking what baptism did they experience because there are two different baptisms. In John the Baptist's own words found in Matthew 3:11, he says, "I baptize with water those who repent of their sins and turn to God. But someone is coming soon who is greater than I am--so much greater that I'm not worthy even to be his slave and carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."
To continue reading, in Acts 19:4-6, Paul said, "John's baptism called for repentance from sin. But John himself told the people to believe in the one who would come later, meaning Jesus." As soon as they heard this, they were BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS. Then when PAUL LAID HIS HANDS ON THEM, THE HOLY SPIRIT CAME ON THEM, AND THEY SPOKE IN OTHER TONGUES AND PROPHESIED.
You said, "I also do NOT feel that any evidence is required to prove that one has been baptised." But when these people in Acts 19:1-6 were baptized, we learn that AFTER the HOLY SPIRIT CAME ON THEM, they SPOKE IN OTHER TONGUES AND PROPHESIED. So, if you really were baptized in the Holy Spirit as you claim when you said, "Apart from anything else, I was baptised before I could even speak English," then you were also supposed to SPEAK IN OTHER TONGUES and PROPHESY. The people speaking in Acts 19, did NOT speak in English, they spoke the Greek language, but they still spoke in other tongues after they received the Holy Spirit.
Pick up the Bible for yourself and READ what is there to prove the will of God concerning receiving/or being baptized in the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues. If you agree with me that this is something that God wants all Christians to do, then visit the five links I posted previously. The first two links contain TWENTY sermons that you can HEAR to build your faith in this area and other areas that concern the Holy Spirit. The last three links are THREE parts of a sermon that expounds more on the benefits of tongues. Start with these sermons. Build your faith in this area. Romans 10:17 tells us, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."